Comfortably Numb: The Opposite of Ignorance, is Bliss

I often wonder when the time will come that I have the epiphany that leads me to understanding why some people do the certain things they do. I know, that isn't specific. I am currently listening to a young woman on her cellphone, evidently speaking with her mom. She is talking about injections of medicine, and the fecal matter she had for dinner. I see her food like substance containers erupting from the garbage bin, two purple cylinders and a bright blue box. I often wonder how her mind operates when it comes to being conscious and aware of her current circumstances.


It is the party I was invited to last night, but denied to attend. It is the seven bodied line up I served fresh sandwiches and steamy liquids to at work this afternoon. It is the anxiety attack in the parking lot, the third weekend in a row I have had.


And I wonder, again, what it means to be comfortable.


Is it to sit on a couch coddling that very same bowl of chocolate or chips?
Is it morning caffeine and refined syrups in your breakfast croissant?


No.


I believe that to be the numbness of reality.


To those who live vicariously through the television and the Tumblr, the Flickr, and the Facebook. I see your cries. Yes, I see them, and I hear your discomfort.


I think some people believe that they are not good enough, or not made out for a life more than what is easily laid before them to tread on mindlessly, stepping on each new stone that appears closest, like a friend they've been able to get to know best while standing on their current rock.


I have read a common quote: "Life begins at the end of your comfort zone." So why is it that I see so many people reside scared and unaware behind the line.


Those who are truly strong will cross, those who are weak will pretend to.


I have decided to push myself forward onto brighter stones, ones to which I have to reach for, ones to which I have to work for.


Yes, your stone may be smooth and familiar, but there are others just ahead far more compelling. Oh you say, you are comfortable there? I see your insecurities, and I raise you tender competition. It is here you are playing chess with yourself, strategizing the next best move. Here there is no fear of being outdone by the Jones', for you are your own critic. Do not let yourself fall down upon you, be clear in knowing the beauty of mistakes. If I slip when I jump from this stone to the next, I will fall into the water of the rippling brook. As I sit in the pond, grounded, I will pause to think of what has just happened. As I let the cool water wash over me, I will enjoy the cleansing. For however long it takes me, I may sit there, until I am ready to stand again, and take the next step, stronger and wiser than before.


Growth and maturity are common things, but to understand why certain people certainly take different approaches to these means of living and learning, is a topic I am quite intruiged by.


I have come to the conclusion that there is no such thing as wasted time. And I will leave you on a note in which depicts a part of my personality (humour) :